I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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