i don't like sucking hair
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
