mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
