i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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