i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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