I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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