porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
