I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
