I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
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