I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
