# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
