so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
