i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I think I just sharted jello shots
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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