If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
