This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Verdict: uncircumcised.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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