dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
