They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
