just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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