well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
