dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
