i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
