i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
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