I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Hippo gnu deer
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
