idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
