Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
