i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she peed on how many people?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
