we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
