just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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