Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
