Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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