Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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