Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Congratulations! We have a period
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
