don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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