somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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