a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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