Four minutes until I can fart!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
