Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
