ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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