i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
