My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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