Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
