I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
