i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
