I'm gonna have a badass scar
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
