So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
