You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
