So many bounce houses so little time
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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