It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
