Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We left an ass print on the piano.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
