Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
FUCK WHALES
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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