I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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