i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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