Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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