She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
