but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
