Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
